Write Up Pingu’s 5 day LUBe Challenge

[bertiejaffa]

So, in April last year (yes 2024 – I know, it has taken me a while !) whilst away on Steve’s Spring Scotland run in Dumfries, Gary (Pingu), Mark (Deano1712) and I started discussing what our next stupid challenge would be, and, as the beers disappeared round the fire, the ideas got dafter and dafter until we came up with L(et) U(s) Be

Basically, the concept was simple – would it be possible to travel the length or width of the country without using Motorways or A Roads so using only B roads or less. As I went to get another round, I returned to find Gary had gotten a road atlas out of the car, a pen and a ruler… the challenge had started to take shape.

Work commitments meant we were time constrained and with Mark working in deepest Wales it was agreed that we would plan for St. Davids on the far west of south Wales and finish in Lowestoft, the most eastern point of the UK.

Normally this would take 7.5 hours and 377 miles – however using only B or unclassified roads meant it would take us 3 full days of driving to complete the route, plus a day either side to get to and from the start and end points.

Day 1 – 12th June: Meet up in Camrose. (5.5 hours – 210 miles)

We had decided we would use AirBnbs for the entire journey, not only as this was cheaper but also, it meant that we would be able to book random places in the middle of nowhere that didn’t mean taking an A road to the usual Premier Inn or Travelodge.

First up was Camrose, some 15 miles away from St. Davids, here we would meet up and spend the night before starting the journey the following day.

Not much to say about the drive down except that Wales is a lovely country but could do with more dual carriageways or motorways, although there was a stretch of the A40 where we were the only car for about 20 miles, the car was driving like a dream and it was pure bliss – not a sign of things to come !!

We should have known there would be trouble ahead when none of us was able to turn up to a Z run with a fully fledged Z !!

The AirBnB was an old farm house, it seemed nicely done up and great for the nights requirement. However, the bed I was sleeping on had a mattress the depth of an envelope so I felt every spring and Mark had a family of mice in the loft above his bed so neither of us got any sleep !!!

 

[bertiejaffa]

Day 2: 13th June - St Davids to Pembridge (6.5 hours – 157 miles)

We woke up tired and to a crappy windy horrible rainy day!! However undeterred we made breakfast, packed up our stuff and set off to do the 15 miles to the start point via a petrol station just outside of St. Davids…

We had managed just 13 miles but as we were coming up to the petrol station Mark started to notice that there was a lot of steam coming from my engine and as we pulled into the petrol station, I noticed that my engine temperature was high, and red lights had started flashing on the dashboard !!

The weather was horrific! Stormy, windy and rainy conditions did not help as we tried to work out what was wrong with the car, popping the boot I noticed that the coolant level was low, so we braced the wind and rain, filled up with fuel and bought some coolant. However, as we poured it into the car it all ran out the bottom – obviously something was wrong, but we were stranded at the far end of Wales, in a storm, with not a lot of Porsche knowledge for a few hundred miles !!

Not the last time this would be up !!

As I sat dejected and miserable imagining the 12 hour AA relay trip back north, Mark did a bit of a recce and found a local garage that would begrudgingly have a look at the car. We brimmed the coolant tank as far as we could and then set off, free wheeling as much as possible to try and avoid overheating.

We got there and got the car on the ramps, then the abuse started. The garage owner and his 2 lumbering knucklehead mechanics admitted they knew nothing about Porsche’s but that didn’t stop him from giving his “expert” opinion….

"Ha ha, oh look, its one of those cars – shiny on top”, “I wouldn’t have one given me”, “Look at that, oil leaks everywhere”, “This needs a complete engine rebuild”, “I reckon there is about £14,000 minimum to spend on this”

However, Mark, Gary and I had focused in on the glaringly obvious issue – a jubilee clip had perished and a coolant hose had come undone !! Brilliant, an easy fix !! Or so you would think….

Instead, the garage owner said he couldn’t help, and wouldn’t give us a clip. I did say to him I was happy to pay for it but he walked away. Bemused we started talking about where we might get a clip from before he did a complete 180 and then turned up with a clip and a screwdriver and fitted it before saying there was no warranty etc.. This Bipolar approach to customer service continued for the entire time we were there, switching between helpful to just plain rude – and that was before I really upset him!!

Bringing the car back to the ground we filled it with water and coolant (which he said not to bother with as the engine rebuild will be needed when I get home) and then we wondered how to bleed it. Google provided the answer, a nice simple switch, and so we started the painstaking job of trying to bleed what turns out to be the longest coolant circuit in history whilst Mr Grumpy carried on switching between angry and helpful.

During one of his helpful moments, Dr Jekyll suggested that we popped the bonnet to see if he could help with the bled process. However as he started to feel the heater pipes Mr Hyde appeared again and started telling me how crap they were and that they will all need replacing, and his original quote of £14,000 is too low!

Bemused by his mood swings I turned round to check the coolant levels again but tripped over the ramp… the rest happened in slow motion as I tried, like a cartoon character, to keep my balance before knocking his cupboard and computer over – Oops !!

He appeared shouting and swearing, calling us all “E-Jots” and saying he wished he never met us and that we were wasting our time doing silly challenges that mean nothing. Then he closed the garage shutters and ordered us out of the garage, whilst leaving the car idling inside. We went to the reception continuing our apologises but he just kept shouting “OUT, OUT, GET OUT, F****** OUT” as he then pushed us through the front door, locking it behind us and making us stand outside in the wind and rain.

Slightly bemused we stood there for 20 minutes like naughty school children getting soaked and wondering if this was going to turn into a strange Welsh version of a scene from Deliverance until eventually the shutters opened, and he came over and told us that nothing was broken and that Mark was the least “D***head of us all and he must get that pile of S*** out of his garage.

We continued to apologise and offer money, but he just walked off calling us E-jots again, so we took the positives that no damage had been done, and we had managed to fix the cause of the leak. With our tails between our legs, we returned to the petrol station to get some water AND coolant.

So, after leaving the digs 2.5 hours ago we finally got to the beach and the start point of our challenge. We put more water and coolant in the car and started the challenge, and, although we totally understood the guy’s perspective and anger, as the day continued, we slowly starting to see the funny side of the morning.

Setting off, still raining and another 2 litres of water added….

The rest of the day went better, the rain cleared, and the sun started to break, making the frequent (every 30 minute) stops to add more water to the never ending coolant circuit more pleasant.

Another stop…

Still raining....

Finally brightening up

Tea stop before the AirBnb

It had been a wet day

Another lovely place – this time without any rodents and with comfy beds. ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz

 

[bertiejaffa]

Day 3: 14th June – Pembridge – Broughton (6.5 hours - 197 miles)

We woke up on day3 with the sun shining and a beautiful drive ahead of us. After 23 litres, the car had finally bled itself and only needed a final top up, although after the stress of the day before I was still driving around with 6 litres of water on the back seats and checking the levels at every stop.



This was a great day, amazing roads, stunning Cotswold villages, sun shining, top down (well for Mark anyway) with some lovely little village stops for lunch and coffee breaks.

Broadway Tower Country Park

Tonight’s destination was a little sleepy little village called Broughton, just south of Peterborough where we again had a whole house to ourselves.

Only the Bonnet up this time !!

Mark playing with the local pussy

Time for something to eat… lovely little village pub just a 5-minute walk away.

Must have known we were coming…..

On the way back to the house, we met one of the neighbours who was getting his car ready for the classic car show the following day.

However, it seemed like our luck had rubbed off on him and although we tried to help him his car just would not start.

As well as the TVR and a selection of bikes, he also had a stunning GT6 in mid restoration.

After speaking with him for a while we decided it was time to leave his garage before we knocked something else over and walked round the corner and back to the digs so that Gary could watch his beloved Scotland in the opening match of the Euro’s… A 6-goal thriller, unfortunately 5 of them were for Germany

6 goals still weren’t enough to keep Mark awake though so we packed him off to bed in his loft dungeon….

 

[bertiejaffa]

Day 4: 15th June – Broughton to Lowestoft (5 hours – 155 miles)

The final day of the challenge, 155 miles to go until we reached Lowestoft, the most eastern point of the UK and the final stop for us. With nothing in for breakfast we found a nice pub that opened early and tucked in…

The roads continued to be quiet and, initially anyway, the weather gods were shining, bringing perfect conditions for a good bit of driving…

No more car troubles thankfully but as we got towards Lowestoft, the weather turned, and we finished in the same conditions that we started with the rain lashing down and the wind howling…

But finally, we had made it !!

The digs for the final night were another Airbnb, this time it was a static caravan on a caravan park in Lowestoft. Ironically this cost considerably more than all the nice houses that we had rented during the trip.

Still, at least the caravan park came with an indoor heated swimming pool, sauna, steam room, and jacuzzi. Just what we needed after standing in the wind and rain for the obligatory photographs.

We called the pool from the caravan and asked about arrangements, all seemed normal so off we set with towels and speedos to have a relaxing wind down. However, when we got to the pool the chaos continued.

Firstly, they said we needed the card from the caravan - which we didn’t have. Then they wanted us to pay – which we refused. Then they said we hadn’t booked – which we had just. Then they said it was full – looking through the window it obviously wasn’t…. Finally, a different person turned up and we were allowed in, whilst it wasn’t the greatest swim we ever had, it was a good place to relax, albeit with an annoying local pecking our heads about where we should go for a pint and why. Fair to say that we avoided him and his recommendations.

 

[bertiejaffa]

Day 5: 16th June – Lowestoft to home (5.5 hours – 215 miles via the peak district)

The final leg home and A roads were back on the agenda as we left the never-ending vastness of Norfolk. Mark had gone home early so it was just down to me and Gary to continue the procession, until we stopped off at the Anglia Motel for some late breakfast and replaced Mark with something slightly bigger but definitely slower…

And finally, home. Gary turned off and I took a detour through the peak district for one final blast… still with one eye on my temperature gauge and 6 litres of water on the back seat.

And I thought that was that, however, the trip had one final surprise in store for me when I got home….

I don’t know when or where this fell out on the way home but it spoilt my “Shiny on top” look – thankfully it cost significantly less than £14,000 to replace.

Until the next “mAAd” trip....

 

[Pingu]

Hidden in the text of Day 2 is a story of a welcome in the hillsides that not even the best story teller could convey.

It's a shame we had no photos of what happened, but it was pure slapstick comedy when we look back at it. At the time, not so much.

Thanks @bertiejaffa and @deano1712 for another memorable adventure. What mAAd trip is next?...

 

[Pingu]

Just remembered ...

You forgot the fire engine

 

[Mint]

That looks an epic challenge, and apart from the Porche playing up looks like the Zeds [albeit a bit modified] were fine.
Great story and lots of memories made, good one chaps

 

[deano1712]

That's a brilliant right up Bert. You didn't mention the endless single track roads with passing places. A little frustrating especially when we encountered the massive group of super slow cyclists

Looking forward to the next adventure

 

[deano1712]

The falling down moment in the back and beyond garage will live with me till the day I die. Bert falls slowly seemingly 15 minutes from start to catastrophic landing with racking, tools and computer flying everywhere lol.

 

[bertiejaffa]

That's a brilliant right up Bert. You didn't mention the endless single track roads with passing places. A little frustrating especially when we encountered the massive group of super slow cyclists

Looking forward to the next adventure

OMG - I forgot the endless cyclists on some event that refused to move... even at the revving of a very loud V8

 

[AleNod]

That sounds absolutely epic guy's - Lee you've missed your vocation - that's a cracking read !

 

[Rod and Kate]

Nice one guys, what a road/ back lane trip!!
What were the roads like that you took?
Good write up to .

 

[Kate and rod]

Cracking write up! Thanks for sharing

 

[RickyBobby]

What an absolutely stupid and pointless exercise and therein lies the brilliance of it - and like all good road trips your reward was the journey rather than the destination

 

[bertiejaffa]

Nice one guys, what a road/ back lane trip!!
What were the roads like that you took?
Good write up to .

Most of the roads were exactly like the pictures and as Deano describes them - endless single track lanes with passing places and lots of farm lanes - often wondering if it was actually a road and whether Mr Grumpy's farmer cousin would be waiting at the end of one of them with a 12 bore!!!

There was one section of road on one of the days (I think it might have been day 4) where we were crossing lots of fields and streams and the roads had obviously been built on unfirm ground and had slowly sunk into 5 miles of continuous rolling bumps.

Common sense would have said to slow down here but you have met us right??

 

[Pingu]

What an absolutely stupid and pointless exercise and therein lies the brilliance of it - and like all good road trips your reward was the journey rather than the destination

If you think that is pointless and stupid - just wait to see what's coming next.

I'm knackered just planning it.

Hopefully, there will be no garages involved.

The fire engine, btw...

We were making "progress" along a road that was about 1-1/2 cars wide, so wide enough to push on if you could see ahead. I was in the lead, with Deano and Bertie following. Up ahead I could see a 90 right. The two behind could probably not see the corner, as I was in the way. I slowed for the corner, went round, and there just around the corner was a fire engine dealing with a car that "had failed to negotiate the right hand bend". I cadenced my way past the fire engine and the debris on the road. All I could hear from behind was the tell-tale sound of two sets of ABS brakes ripping at the gravel as they, too, managed to get around the debris, the wrecked car and the fire engine. I still wonder how we didn't collect one of the firemen or hit anything. We gave everyone a friendly wave as we left the scene.

Close call.

 

[Althulas]

Great story.

 

[Shelly]

I loved reading this it was so good
Well done to you all

 

[ktnez99]

Day 2: 13th June - St Davids to Pembridge (6.5 hours – 157 miles)
View attachment 342967
We woke up tired and to a crappy windy horrible rainy day!! However undeterred we made breakfast, packed up our stuff and set off to do the 15 miles to the start point via a petrol station just outside of St. Davids…

We had managed just 13 miles but as we were coming up to the petrol station Mark started to notice that there was a lot of steam coming from my engine and as we pulled into the petrol station, I noticed that my engine temperature was high, and red lights had started flashing on the dashboard !!

The weather was horrific! Stormy, windy and rainy conditions did not help as we tried to work out what was wrong with the car, popping the boot I noticed that the coolant level was low, so we braced the wind and rain, filled up with fuel and bought some coolant. However, as we poured it into the car it all ran out the bottom – obviously something was wrong, but we were stranded at the far end of Wales, in a storm, with not a lot of Porsche knowledge for a few hundred miles !!

View attachment 342969
Not the last time this would be up !!

As I sat dejected and miserable imagining the 12 hour AA relay trip back north, Mark did a bit of a recce and found a local garage that would begrudgingly have a look at the car. We brimmed the coolant tank as far as we could and then set off, free wheeling as much as possible to try and avoid overheating.

We got there and got the car on the ramps, then the abuse started. The garage owner and his 2 lumbering knucklehead mechanics admitted they knew nothing about Porsche’s but that didn’t stop him from giving his “expert” opinion….

"Ha ha, oh look, its one of those cars – shiny on top”, “I wouldn’t have one given me”, “Look at that, oil leaks everywhere”, “This needs a complete engine rebuild”, “I reckon there is about £14,000 minimum to spend on this”

However, Mark, Gary and I had focused in on the glaringly obvious issue – a jubilee clip had perished and a coolant hose had come undone !! Brilliant, an easy fix !! Or so you would think….

Instead, the garage owner said he couldn’t help, and wouldn’t give us a clip. I did say to him I was happy to pay for it but he walked away. Bemused we started talking about where we might get a clip from before he did a complete 180 and then turned up with a clip and a screwdriver and fitted it before saying there was no warranty etc.. This Bipolar approach to customer service continued for the entire time we were there, switching between helpful to just plain rude – and that was before I really upset him!!

Bringing the car back to the ground we filled it with water and coolant (which he said not to bother with as the engine rebuild will be needed when I get home) and then we wondered how to bleed it. Google provided the answer, a nice simple switch, and so we started the painstaking job of trying to bleed what turns out to be the longest coolant circuit in history whilst Mr Grumpy carried on switching between angry and helpful.

During one of his helpful moments, Dr Jekyll suggested that we popped the bonnet to see if he could help with the bled process. However as he started to feel the heater pipes Mr Hyde appeared again and started telling me how crap they were and that they will all need replacing, and his original quote of £14,000 is too low!

Bemused by his mood swings I turned round to check the coolant levels again but tripped over the ramp… the rest happened in slow motion as I tried, like a cartoon character, to keep my balance before knocking his cupboard and computer over – Oops !!

He appeared shouting and swearing, calling us all “E-Jots” and saying he wished he never met us and that we were wasting our time doing silly challenges that mean nothing. Then he closed the garage shutters and ordered us out of the garage, whilst leaving the car idling inside. We went to the reception continuing our apologises but he just kept shouting “OUT, OUT, GET OUT, F****** OUT” as he then pushed us through the front door, locking it behind us and making us stand outside in the wind and rain.

Slightly bemused we stood there for 20 minutes like naughty school children getting soaked and wondering if this was going to turn into a strange Welsh version of a scene from Deliverance until eventually the shutters opened, and he came over and told us that nothing was broken and that Mark was the least “D***head of us all and he must get that pile of S*** out of his garage.

We continued to apologise and offer money, but he just walked off calling us E-jots again, so we took the positives that no damage had been done, and we had managed to fix the cause of the leak. With our tails between our legs, we returned to the petrol station to get some water AND coolant.

So, after leaving the digs 2.5 hours ago we finally got to the beach and the start point of our challenge. We put more water and coolant in the car and started the challenge, and, although we totally understood the guy’s perspective and anger, as the day continued, we slowly starting to see the funny side of the morning.
View attachment 342971
Setting off, still raining and another 2 litres of water added….

The rest of the day went better, the rain cleared, and the sun started to break, making the frequent (every 30 minute) stops to add more water to the never ending coolant circuit more pleasant.

View attachment 342973
Another stop…

View attachment 342975
Still raining....

View attachment 342977View attachment 342979
Finally brightening up

View attachment 342981
Tea stop before the AirBnb

View attachment 342983
View attachment 342985View attachment 342987
It had been a wet day

View attachment 342989View attachment 342991
Another lovely place – this time without any rodents and with comfy beds. ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz

Have you ever thought about writing comedy sketches? This is hilarious!!!